The fear of having the significant other discover the secret causes increased friction in the relationship and can lead to marital conflict. Whether it’s an extramarital affair, a shopping or gambling addiction, or questioning one’s sexual orientation, it introduces an unwelcome element into the relationship. When spouses hide things from one another it throws off the family dynamic. When one person alone hides something from the rest of the family-say you are in a forbidden relationship, have mounting credit card debt, or have an addiction-it builds walls around you. Unhealthy secretsĬonfidential matters that stem from taboo topics, criminal behavior, moral or ethical violations, or breaking rules can cause a breakdown in the family dynamics. These types of secrets promote bonding and stronger relationships. Think about an inside joke with your dad, a secret handshake with your sibling, or planning a surprise party for your spouse. Some family secrets are actually beneficial. Here are 7 types of secrets and the consequences they cause. There are several types of secrets, and they can have different effects on your emotional, cognitive, and physical well-being. Keeping things to yourself can also lead to physical symptoms related to stress and anxiety, such as headaches, digestive issues, and muscle tension. It’s as if the secrets you’re holding on to make you feel like you’re carrying a heavy burden that makes everything else more difficult. An earlier study on secrets in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that thinking about hidden confidences makes physical tasks seem harder. It can be extremely harmful, leading to anxiety, shame, trust issues, resentment, stress, and sometimes to the use of addictive substances as a coping mechanism. Keeping family secrets creates a toxic environment that poisons the whole family. Click To Tweet CONSEQUENCES OF FAMILY SECRETS What’s so wrong with family secrets? Keeping family secrets can be extremely harmful, leading to anxiety, shame, trust issues, resentment, stress, and sometimes to the use of addictive substances as a coping mechanism. In general, people stay mum about things in an effort to avoid punishment, shame, or judgment. What does all this secret keeping do to us? Thinking about those skeletons in the closet causes stress…lots of it! It’s the same for family secrets-hiding mounting debt and impending bankruptcy from the kids, enlisting a sibling in staying quiet about getting in trouble at school, asking a child not to tell when they catch you in a romantic embrace with someone other than your spouse, and the list goes on and on. What’s your secret? Maybe it’s about your finances, a child’s adoption status, an illness or autoimmune disease, mental health issues, sexual orientation, gender identity, political beliefs, criminal behavior, past physical or sexual abuse, an extramarital affair, or any one of thousands of other things people keep to themselves. That’s according to a 2017 study on secrecy that analyzed over 130,000 secrets. If you’re like most people you probably have 5 deep dark secrets stashed away in your brain that you’ve never shared with anyone else. Hormone Evaluation and Replacement Therapy.Marital Conflict and Relationship Issues.
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